Friday, July 13, 2012
How do we solve unemployment, fight obesity, and save the environment all in one?
We create jobs by…hiring fat people to run generators. By run, I mean physically run, or bike of course. Imagine a factory…full of large hamster wheels…with fat people on them, running. This creates many jobs, fights obesity, and decreases the need to burn fossil fuels.
I suggested it to my dad and he said it would be unproductive because they would be too slow.
So he drew an “improved upon” mental image. Imagine the orcs of Mordor. They have whips. And they run these factories.
I’ll let your imagination take care of the rest.
Let’s say you find this absurdly offensive. Then let’s not fight obesity. Instead, let’s deal with prison overcrowding.
So instead, imagine criminals running these hamster wheels.
Someone explain to me why it is wrong to force criminals into harmless hard labor to serve our planet and people? If someone told me I’d have to go to prison and sit around all day, I wouldn’t mind too much. But if they told me that I’d have to run at least 5 hours a day? I’d straighten up.