Entry #7

DEPRIVE ME OF MY FOOD AND I SHALL EAT YOUR BRAINS. THEN, in the dead of the night when you MOST suspect it, BOOM! I’ll break into your house and STEAL your chinchillas so we can FROLIC on the LAWN like leprechauns on CRACK.
…
What? I don’t know. Just shoot me. Or samurai slice me. But not just because I’m Japanese. That’s called racism.